It’s All Because of Football

I’ve been reading a lot lately about the problems that boys are having in school these days, and thinking about the ever growing challenge of keeping them in high school long enough to prepare them to get a college degree. Even in my nice middle class neighborhood, I know that many parents are struggling with their sons, and their lack of academic engagement. That’s why it was such a thrill to learn that the boy next door, who has for many years seemed uninterested in school, has just been accepted into a teacher education program at the University of Redlands.

I barely had time to offer my congratulations to his proud mom when she burst out … “it’s because of football you know.” For this young man, his heartfelt desire to play college football, and the academic requirements he needed to fulfill in order to play in high school resulted in a commitment to his schoolwork, a college acceptance, and, according to his parents, a completely changed attitude, at school and at home. It took a lot of work, and cooperation between home and school, but the outcome is what we all hope for.

A number of the things that worked for my neighbor can be integrated seamlessly into the lists of suggestions in this blog and lots of other resources, about how to create a “boy-friendly school.” In my opinion, the key to making a difference is encouraging boys to read. To do this, it certainly helps to provide them with access to books, articles and stories that provide masculine themes and role models and topics that interest them – starting with sports.

To encourage more reading (and all the good things that results from that) make sure that all your students have easy access to sports magazines, adventure stories and biographies of sports figures. Whether it’s a story of conquering Everest, or winning the Super Bowl, research shows that boys like stories about overcoming a challenge.

So do I; stories about boys getting through high school and into college are just the kind of challenge I’d like to read more about.

How to Create a Boy-Friendly School

The subject of how boys are struggling in school and in life seems to come up regularly in the media. Several years ago, PBS ran a powerful documentary, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys, which “explores the emotional development of boys in America today.” It describes American boys as “the most violent in the industrialized world,” and clearly shows that many boys are struggling in school, and unable to express their emotions.

A while ago, Newsweek published, Struggling School Aged Boys. Though the medium is different, the message is the same. Many boys, (according to the research) an extraordinary percentage of them, are having emotional or behavioral problems that are affecting their lives, and their ability and willingness to stay in school. Many of the problems are severe enough to cause parents to consult a doctor or health care professional.

As an educator, parent, and citizen of the nation that leads the world in fatherless families, violence and failing boys, I can’t stop thinking about the faces, and the voices of the boys in the film, and the issues and problems of the boys I see and hear about every day. So, the questions keep playing in my head … How can we do a better job of raising our boys? And, what can Oregon educators do to create a boy friendly school - a place where boys feel safe, welcome and able to learn and be themselves.
To clarify my thoughts, I contacted Marilyn Brown-Dikeos, whose program Empowered Learning includes strategies that teachers, mentors and parents can use to help boys feel safe and respected in the classroom. She offers the following insights and strategies.

1. Honor the risk of learning. Trying to learn something new can be risky for a boy who is afraid to fail. Help your student’s understand that learning is a process that includes trying, doing, and making mistakes. It is not about achieving perfection. Value a student’s attempts to master a new subject or skill. Celebrate effort and recognize even small accomplishments along the way.

2. Provide safe entry points to learning. Group learning and project based activities offer multiple entry points for students. The ability to choose a role or task which will allow him to work from his strength may help a boy feel confident enough to enter into an activity.

3. Allow students to self-evaluate. Many boys struggle in school because success and failure are tied up with their sense of themselves. A boy who gets a bad grade or fails a test is likely to feel stupid and embarrassed in front of his classmates. Rather than risk failing again, some boys simply stop trying. One way to work around this is to allow students to grade themselves according to the criteria you set. When they turn in a paper ask, “What grade do you think you earned?” Allow them to tell you how they might have done better. Remind a boy that understanding how to do better next time shows that he is learning.

4. Treat them with respect and kindness. Just because boys don’t show their emotions, we tend to treat them as if they aren’t there. In fact, research shows that boys are even more sensitive and more eager to please than girls. Treat them as if they are fragile. They are.

5. Provide opportunities for boys to talk about their feelings – through sports or chess or other games. Boys need to be reassured that their inner lives are NOT shameful, that play violence is not violence. Use their violent games and fantasies as a starting point for conversation or story writing.

6. Boys need to move around. Recess time is being eliminated as school days are shortened. Try to find ways to build action and motion into your activities and schedule.

7. Boys need to feel safe. They need an adult to talk to about bullies, fear, humiliation and their need to be protected. They also need an adult to show them that men are caring, compassionate and kind.
8. Offer opportunities for boys to resolve their own conflicts. Conflict resolution takes communication skills, the ability to listen, willingness to compromise, and often, creativity. It can help boys reflect on their actions, and see them from someone else’s point of view. Best of all, the ability to resolve a conflict without rage and aggression can result in friendship, something that no boy can succeed without.

Related Resources: For more information about this subject, help for parents, and classroom ideas, visit the following websites:
Raising Cain: Boys in Focus
http://www.pbs.org/opb/raisingcain/

The PBS Parents Guide to Understanding and Raising Boys
http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/index.html

Boys in School
How to help boys adjust to school and schools adjust to boys.
http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/school.html

Buy the Program
Raising Cain (DVD)
http://www.shoppbs.org/product/index.jsp?productId=2175911

Strategies to Overcome Barriers to Relationships and Open Doors to Creativity

Look at the kids you work with. Try as they might to fit in, they are individuals. with their own personalities, appearances, opinions and abilities. If all kids (all people) are different, why do we expect them to learn and perform in the same way?

Encouraging kids to show their knowledge and demonstrate their skills or talents in their own ways can help them to build on what they already know, provide them with opportunities to interact with others and open the door to success. In other words, its a great way to engage them in school and learning. The following ideas are drawn from the online course, Making Connections: Strong Relationships Help Keep Kids in School. Click here to learn more about the course.

Ideas mentors and teachers can use to engage kids:
•Challenge them. Ask kids to wrestle with new concepts, explain their reasoning, defend their conclusions, and explore alternative strategies and solutions.

•Encourage active involvement. Involvement in learning includes conducting experiments, participating in debate and role playing, or completing projects.

•Create opportunities for collaborative work. Collaboration includes working in pairs or small groups on activities that require sharing and meaningful interactions. Students are often more receptive to challenging assignments when they can put their heads together rather than work in isolation. Mentors, create opportunities where you can work together to accomplish something significant.

•Tie things to the world outside of school. Topics that are personally interesting and related to their lives make learning more enjoyable for kids.

•Encourage students to express their interests. Use kids' interests to guide the topics and activities you select.

•Provide constructive and regular feedback. Use errors as opportunities to point out better ways of doing things without criticizing kids’ efforts.

•Engage kids as active learners. Active learners don’t just memorize—they think. They ask questions, find resources and use what they learn in new situations.

•Connect teaching and curriculum to real life. Focus your efforts on real life experiences, values, knowledge, and needs of students.

•Be a role model. Kids are watching you, so model good behaviors (like honesty, kindness, creativity, etc.) thinking processes, and procedures.

•Put yourself in their shoes. Try to understand their challenges, experiences and emotions by framing situations from the point-of-view of each individual child. Understanding how each one makes meaning is to take a look into the various factors and characteristics that define their individual perceptions of the world around them.

•Demonstrate a wil
lingness to help. Empathy is a key to building relationships that help keep kids in school.

When building relationships with students, you might be faced with circumstances that are out of your realm of understanding. Remember that you can show empathy by simply listening to their stories. Just listening may help you make meaning of their experiences and provide opportunities to build realtionships by sharing similar experiences you may have had.